LoD Jokes Thread :

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LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by J on Fri Dec 24, 2010 12:17 pm

Official LoD Jokes Thread.


Angel make it a sticky in funny stuff :

Ill start us off.



Boy: "Do you want to play the fire engine game?"
Girl: "How do you play that?"
Boy: "My fingers are the fire engine and I drive up your legs. You say 'Red light!' when you want me to stop."
Girl: "Okay, let's play."
After a few seconds...
Girl: "Red light!"
Boy: "Fire engines don't stop for red lights."

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by CommanderTster on Fri Dec 24, 2010 1:20 pm

LOL,
Here is a classic one from White chicks, first put some flour in your hands then say:
"Yo mama is so old that when she breast feeds, It comes out as powder"

AFTER SAYING THAT, PUT YOUR HANDS TO GETHER AND BLOW THE POWDER THROUGH THEM
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by AngelFallz on Mon Dec 27, 2010 10:34 am

HAHAHA LMAO at jays joke, you sick minded kid haha xD.

I've got 2 jokes.

First One:

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.



The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”



The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”



There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”

Second One:


A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by J on Mon Dec 27, 2010 11:41 am

LOL Angel!

Heres some. BTW I go to a website sickipedia.com

its really rude though, makes fun of everything, catholics ect like all religions and diseases and stuff. So if you go on it, don't feel offended, everyone gets offended by it. Also by the way, these are posted by adults, so some of them are weird for me, you'll be like for this joke, well duh, but no this was not made by me.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just saw a Facebook group: "Hi, I'm a bra. I touch your girlfriend's boobs every day... Jealous yet? ;D"

Joke's on them, my girlfriend doesn't need a bra yet
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've been sleeping with this bloke's wife and today he sent me this text:

"You go near her again and ill have you dead! Mark my words!"

To which I replied:

"8 out of 10, I'll requires an apostrophe and a capital I."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've just upgraded to Sky HD.

I'm impressed.
The phrase 'No satellite signal is being received' has never been so colourful and clear.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The wife just gave me a massive bollocking for throwing a snowball at our son.

To top it off, I've been banned from the maternity ward.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by AngelFallz on Tue Dec 28, 2010 1:56 pm

HAHAHAA I love the facebook one haha Razz.

"Yo moms so fat that when she was swimming in the middle of the ocean and the whales saw her they sang "We are family".

Lmao im still thinking about the fire truck joke hahaa thats the best joke I ever heard till now Razz.
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by zdeadlyhecz on Tue Dec 28, 2010 9:42 pm

i got one

Alice: dorctor doctor i keep seing double
doctor:okay please take a seat on the couch.
Alice:witch one?

dirty one:

me angleFallz and jay go to a ski trip and we go to are room at the hotel and zdeadly calles the left bed angle calls the middle one and jay calls the bed on the right.so in the morning we wake up and zdeadly says i hade the crazyest dream felt like someone was giving me a handjob and jay says me to and angle says i dont know about you guys but i was skieing lol no affence angle just dont get mad its a joke and for youguys who dont get it hes in the middle skieing witch means hes using his ands for the 2 sticks Smile
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by RENEGADE1323 on Wed Dec 29, 2010 12:13 am

Theres a Blonde, brunette and a red haired girl.... they go camping for a week but get lost.....

Day 1: The Brunette goes out hunting and comes back with a deer.. the 2 other girls ask ,"where did you get that deer?" she says: i followed the tracks and Boom i got a deer!

Day 2: The Red Head goes hunting and comes back with a elephant.. the 2 other girls ask ,"where did you get the elephant?" she says: i followed the tracks and Boom i got a elephant!

Day 3: The Blonde goes hunting and comes back all beaten up.. the 2 girls ask her ," What happened?" she says: i followed the track and BOOM i got hit by a train!

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by AngelFallz on Wed Dec 29, 2010 1:12 am

zdeadlyhecz wrote:i got one

Alice: dorctor doctor i keep seing double
doctor:okay please take a seat on the couch.
Alice:witch one?

dirty one:

me angleFallz and jay go to a ski trip and we go to are room at the hotel and zdeadly calles the left bed angle calls the middle one and jay calls the bed on the right.so in the morning we wake up and zdeadly says i hade the crazyest dream felt like someone was giving me a handjob and jay says me to and angle says i dont know about you guys but i was skieing lol no affence angle just dont get mad its a joke and for youguys who dont get it hes in the middle skieing witch means hes using his ands for the 2 sticks Smile

LMAO XD Nice one hahaha Razz.

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by AngelFallz on Wed Dec 29, 2010 1:56 am

RENEGADE1323 wrote:Theres a Blonde, brunette and a red haired girl.... they go camping for a week but get lost.....

Day 1: The Brunette goes out hunting and comes back with a deer.. the 2 other girls ask ,"where did you get that deer?" she says: i followed the tracks and Boom i got a deer!

Day 2: The Red Head goes hunting and comes back with a elephant.. the 2 other girls ask ,"where did you get the elephant?" she says: i followed the tracks and Boom i got a elephant!

Day 3: The Blonde goes hunting and comes back all beaten up.. the 2 girls ask her ," What happened?" she says: i followed the track and BOOM i got hit by a train!

Rofl nice one haha Smile

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by zdeadlyhecz on Wed Dec 29, 2010 12:52 pm

lol thx anglefallz i now its like dirty and stuff but its actually funny most dirty jokes are the funniest
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by CommanderTster on Thu Dec 30, 2010 3:11 am

zdeadlyhecz wrote:i got one

Alice: dorctor doctor i keep seing double
doctor:okay please take a seat on the couch.
Alice:witch one?

dirty one:

me angleFallz and jay go to a ski trip and we go to are room at the hotel and zdeadly calles the left bed angle calls the middle one and jay calls the bed on the right.so in the morning we wake up and zdeadly says i hade the crazyest dream felt like someone was giving me a handjob and jay says me to and angle says i dont know about you guys but i was skieing lol no affence angle just dont get mad its a joke and for youguys who dont get it hes in the middle skieing witch means hes using his ands for the 2 sticks Smile

Use some punctuation please.
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by RENEGADE1323 on Thu Dec 30, 2010 7:14 pm

doesnt matter tster... i can still read it

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by CommanderTster on Fri Dec 31, 2010 1:25 am

I cant.

There were 3 women, a brunnete, a redhead and a blonde.
The police are chasing them, and suddenly they see a farm, the brunnete notices some sacks that they could hide in and says "Come everyone, lets hide in the sacks".

The brunnete hides in a sack of kittens.
The redhead hides in a sack of dogs.
The blonde hides in a sack of potatoes.

The police come to the farm and near the sacks. An officer says "Lets check these sacks". Another officer says " No need, just listen".

The brunnete goes "Meow, Meow", The officers say "just a cat",
The redhead goes "Ruff, Ruff, The officers say "just a dog,
Finally the blonde goes "Potato, Potato".
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by J on Fri Dec 31, 2010 1:15 pm

LOL!

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by zdeadlyhecz on Fri Dec 31, 2010 5:58 pm

lol what a fail patato patato Smile LOL fail
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by RENEGADE1323 on Fri Dec 31, 2010 9:20 pm

lol... potato

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by Michael1 on Tue Jan 18, 2011 1:53 pm

lmao jay sikapedia is awesome
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by NY_loves_METV on Tue Jan 18, 2011 4:33 pm

i have a joke
but its more to dis someone

were u born on the highway cause thats were most accidents happen
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by J on Wed Jan 19, 2011 1:11 am

Lmfao NY! That's old xD

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Lmao

Post by Michael1 on Wed Jan 19, 2011 1:17 am

lol lol lol lol Twisted Evil
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by NY_loves_METV on Wed Jan 19, 2011 5:09 am

Jay_Murphy_DFC wrote:Lmfao NY! That's old xD

i know
but it just makes me laugh Laughing
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by PredatorSoulzz on Wed Jan 19, 2011 11:15 am

Sad i got thousands of jokes on swedish but zer00000 on English Sad
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by RENEGADE1323 on Wed Jan 19, 2011 12:48 pm

lol translate?

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by NY_loves_METV on Wed Jan 19, 2011 2:12 pm

RENEGADE1323 wrote:lol translate?
haha
deh???
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by PredatorSoulzz on Sat Jan 22, 2011 6:11 am

well translating isnt easy, like it might be funny when u say it on swedish then on english you think like, uhhh wtf lol
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

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