LoD Jokes Thread :

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by J on Sat Jan 22, 2011 6:58 am

I know..

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by NY_loves_METV on Sun Jan 23, 2011 6:12 pm

english to french is easy
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by RENEGADE1323 on Sun Jan 23, 2011 6:16 pm

just try the translation

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by wWSH4DOWH4WKWw on Sat Jan 29, 2011 2:36 am

hey here is some yo mama jokes

yo mamas sooooooo fat... she tripped oer wendys and landed on burger king
\
yo mama is sooo ugly... she tried to take a bathand the water jumped out

yo mama is sooooo stupid... she got hit by a parked car

yo DASSY is sooo stupid he got fired on his day off

yo mama is soooooo stupid when ever she has a brainstom its just a sprinkle
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by wWSH4DOWH4WKWw on Sat Jan 29, 2011 2:37 am

and yo mama is soo fat the only time she sees 90210 is on the scale
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by AngelFallz on Sat Jan 29, 2011 4:38 am

Rofl those are good lol.
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by PredatorSoulzz on Sat Jan 29, 2011 6:14 am

LoL... Yo mama is so fat that when she jumps the world shakes lol XD
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by wWSH4DOWH4WKWw on Sat Jan 29, 2011 9:29 am

thx i realy am the yo mama jokes MASTA!!!

OMG ITS A CLOW KICKED IN NUTS AND HE WENT FROM THIS clown TO THIS affraid
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by wWSH4DOWH4WKWw on Sat Jan 29, 2011 9:30 am

AngelFallz wrote:Rofl those are good lol.
I THINK THE 90210 IZ DA BEST 1 OUT THERE
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add me

Post by wWSH4DOWH4WKWw on Sat Jan 29, 2011 9:35 am

AngelFallz wrote:Rofl those are good lol.
i added u on psn im wWSH4DOWH4WKWw Very Happy Cool lol! elephant upsodown it looks like the finger
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by PredatorSoulzz on Sat Jan 29, 2011 9:51 am

SH4DOW dont spam, next time put everything in 1 post instead
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by wWSH4DOWH4WKWw on Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:52 pm

k thx for the tip Very Happy this look Embarassed iz like i just jizzed im ma pantns look
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by RENEGADE1323 on Sun Jan 30, 2011 12:23 am

lol pretty funny lol.. welcome to the clan

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by PredatorSoulzz on Sun Jan 30, 2011 2:03 am

lol ya
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by PredatorSoulzz on Sun Jan 30, 2011 7:25 am

I got 2 jokes.

1:
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"





2:
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by PredatorSoulzz on Sun Jan 30, 2011 7:32 am

Oh i got one more Smile


There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by NY_loves_METV on Mon Jan 31, 2011 5:20 pm

HAHAHAHA
nice one G/freak
lol the worst day of his life
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by NY_loves_METV on Mon Jan 31, 2011 5:35 pm

ok lol i have some

-I was in a coffee shop a couple of weeks ago and I overheard this woman say, 'Guys who drive expensive cars have small penises.' I went to go talk to her. I'm like, 'Excuse me, ma'am. That is not entirely accurate because I drive a really inexpensive car and I also have a small penis.

-I bought a car last week. Well, by 'bought' I mean 'poisoned' and by 'car' I mean 'my neighbor's dog
(that 1 wuzz really stupid)

-A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads:

Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender.
"Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks.
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
"Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by RENEGADE1323 on Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:23 pm

LMFAO lol i like the 2nd one better NY lol

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by J on Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:55 pm

LMAO NY, I didn't get the 1st one, but the 2nd one was quality!

LMAOOOOOOOOOO GAMEFREAK, THEY WERE ALL AMAZING.

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by J on Tue Feb 01, 2011 12:57 pm

Ive got some :

I got home from the pub last night and my wife said, "I can't believe how intoxicated you are."

Denying it I said, "I'm not drunk."

She said, "Yes you are."

I said, "No I'm fucking not."

She said, "Can you tell the time?"

I walked up to the clock and said, "I'm not fucking drunk."


Today,the girl who works next to me in the office came back from lunch and started shouting.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
"Somebody left a note on my desk saying, "You're the ugliest bitch I have ever seen!"
"Don't look at me," I said.
"I wasn't implying it was you, I just-"
"No seriously, don't look at me; you're fucking hideous."


Little Johnny got kicked out of class today! The teacher asked him, "If I gave you £20 and you paid £5 to Joanne, £5 to Jane and £5 to Katie, what would you have?"
Apparently, "Three blowjobs and enough left for a kebab," was the wrong answer.

My wife just gave me an ultimatum, it's either her or the internet.

So sadly, this will be my last joke..... in which I talk about having a wife.

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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by NY_loves_METV on Tue Feb 01, 2011 3:10 pm

haha those were good
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by PredatorSoulzz on Wed Feb 02, 2011 3:26 am

Jay_Murphy_DFC wrote:LMAO NY, I didn't get the 1st one, but the 2nd one was quality!

LMAOOOOOOOOOO GAMEFREAK, THEY WERE ALL AMAZING.


LoL i know im awesome Very Happy
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by PredatorSoulzz on Wed Feb 02, 2011 3:36 am

I got one more Smile

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.

She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."

He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar."

The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."

LoL If you didnt understand fuck him, give him a dollar, then he meant like dont care about him just give him a dollar, but she thought he meant to have 6 lol hahahha
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Re: LoD Jokes Thread :

Post by NY_loves_METV on Wed Feb 02, 2011 5:35 am

lol that wuzz good
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